Filling the void...
If you have ever been away from someone you loved or cared about for a long period of time, then you know what I'm talking about here. I feel like i'm missing something, I don't feel like me. I have this empty void where Lindsay used to be... and even though she's only been gone for a few hours... the thought of spending the weekend away from her expands this void and fills me with this feeling of emptyness. Feelings I've had before and don't want to experience again.
Not only am I feeling this feeling of emptyness, but today I found out a few things. How much I wish I had known her earlier in our lives. How much I wish I could have been there in times she needed someones shoulder to cry on, someone to hold her, someone to help her through the tuff times in life. Life can really be cruel, and can really be depressing. Even in the darkest times... things always get better. Even I can find myself in helpless situations where it looks like things will never get better.
I lost faith in god once... In a time of great need in my life, I had lost someone very close to me. The moment stills hangs over me everytime I see his picture on my mirror, I cry. I miss my grandpa so much... His last words to me were "I love you." For almost 2 years after his death I didn't trust my faith... I lost someone so close to me, and I asked god for help, and I didn't get any. Things only got worse. My Grandma caught cancer again... My other grandma passed away a year later. My IBS was at an all time high... and TBH... my life was boring. I had no true friends... no one that understood me. Needless to say I lost faith for a while. Long story short... I found faith again.
This void I'm feeling now... reminds me of those times. But that voided filled, I know this to will pass and in a few short days... I'll see her, and this feeling will end. I feel an attachment towards someone that I never thought I could feel. It gives meaning to waking up everyday, and going to sleep early. Today I just wanted to hold her. To let he know I loved her and was there for her through hard times. Something I wish I had when my life was in ruins a few years ago. Faith was broken but restored. Life hits a bump in the road from time to time... but in the end it will smooth out. All I WANT is her to hold me and I'll hold her back, NOTHING else. I can only hope I'm filling her void... as she has filled mine.
Not only am I feeling this feeling of emptyness, but today I found out a few things. How much I wish I had known her earlier in our lives. How much I wish I could have been there in times she needed someones shoulder to cry on, someone to hold her, someone to help her through the tuff times in life. Life can really be cruel, and can really be depressing. Even in the darkest times... things always get better. Even I can find myself in helpless situations where it looks like things will never get better.
I lost faith in god once... In a time of great need in my life, I had lost someone very close to me. The moment stills hangs over me everytime I see his picture on my mirror, I cry. I miss my grandpa so much... His last words to me were "I love you." For almost 2 years after his death I didn't trust my faith... I lost someone so close to me, and I asked god for help, and I didn't get any. Things only got worse. My Grandma caught cancer again... My other grandma passed away a year later. My IBS was at an all time high... and TBH... my life was boring. I had no true friends... no one that understood me. Needless to say I lost faith for a while. Long story short... I found faith again.
This void I'm feeling now... reminds me of those times. But that voided filled, I know this to will pass and in a few short days... I'll see her, and this feeling will end. I feel an attachment towards someone that I never thought I could feel. It gives meaning to waking up everyday, and going to sleep early. Today I just wanted to hold her. To let he know I loved her and was there for her through hard times. Something I wish I had when my life was in ruins a few years ago. Faith was broken but restored. Life hits a bump in the road from time to time... but in the end it will smooth out. All I WANT is her to hold me and I'll hold her back, NOTHING else. I can only hope I'm filling her void... as she has filled mine.
posted by Virus047 at 12:45 AM
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